I have no internet, nor the desire to have it installed in my home. I live in a trailer, and what little television I do watch is available via antenna. I own very little, and most of what I do possess was either handed down to me or gifted in other ways, or I acquired by accident plundering through thrift shops or yard sales. I have my mother’s record player and still use it. I have clothes from my teenage years and still wear them. I enjoy creating art from a variety of things, and most especially from nature. I enjoy exploring and learning, and sharing what I have learned- good and bad. I spend what free time I do have basking in the glorious woods or exploring rivers or just cruising the country sides. In short, one could very easily say I have no life. I am a poor person with no real assets or goals to aspire to. No room for opinion or no knowledge to speak of. I am a commoner. Well, sure. Maybe some of that is true. Maybe some of that matters to you and not to me. Maybe my priorities lie elsewhere. I just want to grow in truth.
So this is where I am… Forever seeking out the truth. The truth tends to be a lot less complicated than most people believe it to be. I suppose, apart from my upbringing, this could be why I have rebelled against the lavish things- or lifestyle. I am not saying I would refuse a ’78 Corvette Stingray in cobalt blue if it were offered to me by some miracle… however, I like being grounded and I am convinced my current conscious experience requires deep roots so that I may always be aware of what should be high priority, and what shouldn’t make a damn. To me, money doesn’t make one single damn. Yes, I understand that it is required to attain certain things, or to pay bills, or to get that sense of security. I could go into great detail about why having more money made me feel more insecure… But that is complicated. And I have learned to simplify. In all the books I have read or texts I have studied, I have learned that one’s level of awareness-especially self awareness, may play a role in the development of anxiety or depression. When we analyze something, we break it down to bits and take it apart to see how each piece works. If something doesn’t make sense to us, we may feel confused or annoyed that we do not grasp this detail, and rather than simply asking for help or going about our business, we dwell on this quantum thing until it turns the whole thing into a puzzle we don’t want to play with. The truth of the matter is, is that there will always be details that do not make perfect sense to us. We all come from different places and circumstances, and were born into different families with different genetic makeups and lived throughout different trials and studied different religions and absorbed different ideas and behaviors. What I do or say may not make any sense to Lucy but may make perfect sense to Lisa. Why? Lisa and I grew up together and she knows my family, my upbringing, my circumstances, and my opinions and personality well. So the truth is, life is only as complicated as you make it out to be. You can get stuck on one puzzle piece and make choices about whether you should ask for help, or discard the piece and fancy the puzzle without it, or move on to the next piece to examine it. The truth is simple. And it is there… We just need to stop attempting to complicate it so much.