The Nerve

“Ya know,” she said, unprompted, “something about that guy’s tone just pisses me off.”

I have a lot of issues, as evidenced here over and over, but my issues are thankfully maskable enough so that I can still make an honest living. And I do. And I am proud of that.

I am not proud of the way I sometimes (frequently) react like (as) a very angry and confused teenager. What I do (isolate/run away) really does nobody- including me- any lick of good.

So I have been learning how to admit my fears and problems, confront people and situations, learn from mistakes, act on more informed instinct, manuvuer through countless obstacles and sift through the clicks and met genuine, kind folks.

And I have been lifted (literally) off the ground. The ropes were untangled from my body. The mosquitoes (count all 666 of them) were wafted and swat away from me.

Community is something I have cherished nearly my whole existence. I was known to my church family as the helper, a shadow to someone towering over me, ready to make more copies than anyone ever made in a classic SNL sketch featuring Rob Schneider.

And it is true what they say- it took a village.

My village is changing. And I have to accept that I am hated solely because I definitely did not agree with most policies and opinions constantly broadcast over every media outlet for years.

I am beaten. Broken.
Record’s needle. Tokin’.
Love was, is and will forever be
the only thing that lifted me.

I wonder what’s next. Then again, it doesn’t matter.

What was I saying?


Eight years old.

My S4 is fractured. This makes the third time my lower spine (L1, L2, and L4 previously) has been fractured. The fifth time a rope has snapped and I land on my tail bone or back.

So I know my limitations and am thankful it isn’t worse. The downside- minus the obvious- is that I have missed work and my finances are tighter than they’ve been in a good while. The downside of this thing in particular is that I just happened to have recently been house hunting.

My agent is a friend of mine and former co-worker who can vouch for me in many ways, so I am grateful to her for a number of reasons- but especially for locking me in with a skilled loan officer. Both of them have been very easy to work with, and have made this process almost effortless.

Good news is, we found a house. The location was the obvious selling point for me. I put my back brace on and did a walk through and spoke to both my agent and the seller’s agent at length about the house and the market, etc. We put in an offer that night. They signed the contract the very next morning.

So now, it is pending.

So I, too, am pending.

Where do I see myself in five years?

Enjoying the already existing wheelchair ramp.